Waiting Until Before Marriage

Think back to when you were 20-years-old. Twenty-something’s tend to enjoy life while trying to find an identity. What happens after that amazing decade? Things get a bit more serious. Friends begin to settle down and have kids. You feel like you should do the same. You grab the first decent person in your 30’s and focus on living happily ever after.

A clinical psychologist named Meg Jay gave a TED talk on Why 30 is Not The New 20.

She claimed that the best time to start looking for a serious partner is in your 20s. I’m not talking about getting married and having kids early. I mean, Invest in someone in this early period. Although young couples have a difficult time staying together, consider each relationship as a stepping stone. Every old and new partner should help you understand what you want in a committed relationship. Therefore, when you reach 30+ you aren’t cutting yourself short.

For those that have passed 30, don’t feel pressured into getting married or having kids because of your friends. If you haven’t found the right partner it may not be your time. Would you rather impulsively marry and risk a happy future, or take your time and invest in someone you can truly work with? I’d recommend reading my post: Are We Having Kids For The Right Reasons?

If you are in your 20’s, here are a few things to keep in mind:

Stop saying YOLO. It’s fun to be spontaneous every now and then but impulsivity can truly put you in harm’s way. Not everything is about following rules, but not everything is about breaking them either. Sleeping with people that do not respect or care about you can put you in a miserable place. Take time to care for yourself by investing in people that care about you.

Reflect on your family life. Take into consideration the aspects of your family that you liked or didn’t like. Try to shape the person you want to be. Think about what kind of partner you want to be in a productive relationship. If you would like to be a parent one day, think of what kind of influence you want to be for your child. Follow steps to better yourself for your current or future relationship. Change your bad habits, not for a better future.

Plan Ahead. This may seem overwhelming, but realize that you don’t have to strictly follow the plan. Set a goal for yourself in your current or next relationship. Become aware of risks and rewards when making choices. Try to avoid becoming reckless and impulsive.

If you like this post I recommend reading: The Soulmate Complex

-A.Waver

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s